Saturday, May 1, 2010
3:07 AM
1st of may, today is 2nd month for Thien Si Si and i, but is a bad day for me and her..
she want me to let go. what shld i do? shld i still hold on or just let go?
i love her alot and i beg she love me too. Just what is her reason? i do not know, i just know that i will not want to let go, but seeing her like this, it really hurt me inside out. friday after school, i saw my ex and she ask me, Why i so bad, didnt send Si Si home, you know what i ans? i say i really a bad guy, i dont send her home and went to eat lunch with frens.
all i wish to do is everyday can walk by her side and laugh tgt, joke tgt, i dont know why in school "you" dont want to talk to me or dont let me go near you. And alot ppl are asking me, did Si Si and i break off already? why didnt see you both walking and talking to each other anymore.. i really dunno what to ans, all i do is smile and say im fine, if can say i will tell you, and walk off quietly.. this few days in school are really killing me, saw you and cannot go near you.. i been all alone for the whole morning, even recess time, no one accompany me to eat, no one to talk to. im like a ghost roaming around in school and no one ever notice me anymore.
This is really killing me, and now you want me to let go? WHY !! i really dont know, this time im sure i did nothing. i tried to talk to you but you will just keep quiet and treat me as if i not there, did you ever try to put yourself in my shoe and think, how i feel? really really feel like leaving this world if you really do not want me anymore, you once said, im yours and you will never let me go, you dun want to let me go then want me to let you go? how is it possible for me to do it?
Dont make ppl laugh. In your blog you say you rather i dump you? if i bear to dump you, i wont be so sad and doing all this silly things already.
You want me to be like joosheng? i can never be like him, cos im not him !! we come from different background, whatever you want me to do, i already do, now i want you to do 1 thing for me can? delete the word "break" from your dictionary. "you shall be my 1st and last" i ask you, why want to be your last? do i really that lousy that make you think of staying single forever?
HAHAHA did you ever told your ex this sentance be4? i dont care how your ex treat you, i just care that how you treat me, what am i to you? am i not even a fren to you? am i worse than that pervertic ass you talking about? cos until now you're still talking to him but what about me? huh !? im your bf, you rather talk to him than talking to me? what is this?
I have to say 1 thing be4 i stop. TO: Si Si & Jia Jia, ruey feng is not a good thing, as what Jia Jia always told JooSheng, RF is always there for you? did you ever put yourself in joosheng shoe?
he oso want to be the 1st to be by your side when you need him, but you must think, where is RF and where is JS ? RF is always following you, even in class oso wants to sit beside you. you tell me, if you didnt tell JS how he know you need him?and from Jurong coming down serangoon needs 1hr 30mins by MRT&BUS, 40mins for CARS, and 20+ mins by BIKE by the time he reached RF is by your side. JS wants to talk to you but what did you do? ignore and walk as fast as you can with RF, dont say JS, even i oso angry.
SI SI now is your turn, you every time say you dont like ppl to send you home. then why is always your gans sending? YeS! im jealous, everytime i rush out to find you and in the end i saw you happily chit chatting with them, how i feel? do you know? your that botak de gans ge oso ask, why everytime didnt send Si Si home? you want know what i ans? i say, no lah, cannot keep disturb you de, must give you freedom.
FOR THE BOTH OF YOU ! you two always have things oso dun want us to know? IF your reason for this is dun want us to worry, then i will tell you, you all dun say we more worry ! we are not idoits. we can feel whether there's anything wrong anot. what we gone through you both cfm haven try be4, this is what we always think, (MAYBE YOU WILL SAY WE BHB) we definatly knows more abt relationship than those ex you both have be4. So now, you say 1st and last? hahaha we heard alot and see alot already, those ppl who say it, is just a reason for the guy to let go peacefully but what did the girl do? a few months, a few yrs later, they forgot what they say be4 and is in a relationship with another guy again.
Aiyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo dun need to find reason de lah, just tell us what you want, like that is it more clear? easier to solve? End here le Bye.
